A
headline of a story on the www.cnn.com world site proudly
declares:
"Pentagon vows to probe Saddam photos"
The story revolves around
the location at Latitude 33.339, Longitude 44.394, Elevation 41 m, Baghdad,
Iraq, Asia, Eastern Hemisphere, Earth, Milky Way, Universe. And
approximately, this many people care about it: 6.
According to the CNN website, the U.S. military says it will "aggressively investigate" how photographs of Saddam Hussein in captivity including one of the deposed leader in his underwear -- were released to a London tabloid.
Senior
U.S. military sources followed this statement by declaring that the military
did not give photos to The Sun -- nor would they give them to The
Moon. The release of the photos is proving to be more embarrassing
and humiliating to the U.S. Military authorities than it is to Saddam since
he's not the one who allowed the incident to occur.
Captain
Fierce Bragg, who often associates with the notably evil Hussein when the
captain's duties compel him to give Hussein a sponge bath and the excellent dye
job that Saddam receives for his beautifully quaffed hair, has this to say,
"I don't understand how a picture of Saddam (he allows me to call
him Saddam) in his underwear could possibly have been taken inside of and
released from this prison. We've been probing and searching Saddam
ever since the capture and we've never even seen his underwear. We
thought it would take us several more months to determine if he was wearing any
underwear at all."
"Whoever did this," Captain Bragg continued saying, "has
undermined the faith that people have in the U.S. military. They have
made us all look like fools, except for Corporal Evans who refuses to wear the
hat with the bells on it. When Saddam hears this, he will be
angry."
The
following day, Captain Bragg sent Private 1st Class William Peasley into the
cell to inform Hussein of this latest disgrace to the image he carefully
cultivated for himself over the past 3 or 4 decades. An informant,
I mean, source, claimed that Peasley was chosen because Peasley was
considered expendable due to the impending date of his rotation out of service
in Iraq.
The
article at CNN states that According to the tabloid, U.S. "military sources said they handed over the photos in the hope of dealing a body blow to the resistance in Iraq."
There
are several reasons to consider the motives that the military sources stated
are not only doubtful, but full of jelly.
1.
The resistance in Iraq doesn't fight for Saddam Hussein.
2.
The resistance, like many of us across the globe, have been exposed to images
that show Iraqis being far more degraded under the care of American and British
soldiers than old man Hussein is in the pictures of him in his
underwear. So why would that stir them up or bring them down?
3.
Now that the Iraqi insurgents have seen the picture of Saddam, they have become
excited over the possibilities of getting their whites as white as the tighty
whities worn by their former dictator. There's nothing more
compelling to a fiendish pack of murderers than the thought of having the most
perfect laundry in existence. If anything, rather than packing it
in, the resistance will be energized into doubling their efforts to achieve the
technology to attain true whititivity in their clothing and in their bedrolls.
4.
It is possible that the subject of the photos is not Saddam
Hussein. Maybe the pictures were of the underwear itself and Sadman
Hussein just by accident happened to be wearing them while the governments and
media of the world had the underwear under surveillance.
