Thursday, February 15, 2024

Miserable Poemetricle Shorts

 Numbered in reverse order: (according to the amount of pain they inflict)


14.

i was left to myself

and i had to grow alone.

i learned to shape my home,

myself, and those around me,

and i learned to satisfy

myself


13.

sometimes when i'm not aware,

the beast inside me comes to life

and just as i've begun to doze off

it stabs me with a knife


12.

I am the last ray of the final setting of the sun


11.

Sunlight soothes my eyes

A warm wind calms my nerves

For God’s sake, make it stop!


10.

I live today

I breathe today

Today is not the best of days


9.

Get a grip

Inject your lip

Here’s a tip

Don’t slip

Don’t flip

Don’t drip

you ain’t hip


8.

the exiter


people come, people go

or, as they say,

"you can be replaced"


on and off the stage

like players in a play

speaking lines of hello-goodbye,

people come, people go


and of course,

"you can be replaced".

but, if you're good,

if you're really really good,

you will leave an empty space


You sons of bitches


7.

One pill makes you swallow

Another pill makes you fall

And the ones the dealer sells you

Throw you up hard against the wall

Don’t take any meds with malice

Unless you want your brain to stall


6.

One snowflake

two snowflakes

three snowflakes


Snow Snow Snow is all I see

man this snow is thrilling me


5.

I am a bonehead

my head is thick with bone

if it weren't for other boneheads

I would truly feel alone


4.

Satan smells like a bad burrito.

Almonds make me cry. 

Dire Straights won't play my town. 

Orange is an edible color.

A plane flies overhead thru swamps of clouds. 

Tarantulas live for the day they are to be eaten. 

Monkeys don't lie. Buffalo don't fly.

Shamu, the killer whale, is a guy. 

Towels can sting your eye. 

Good-bye, good-bye, good-bye


3.



2.

Do what you have to do

Do what you need to do

Do what you want to do


How do you do?


1.

He wasn’t you

You were him

He’ll never know you

You do know him

He is fortunate

More so than I



Tuesday, February 13, 2024

Apology concerning a pile of crap

 Apology Unaccepted



I need to apologize to Spanish speaking people for degrading the Spanish language by using it to refer to the disgusting piece of crap that moved to Washington D.C. in this year of 2017.

I've been trying to find a title that fits the beast that rolls in diarrhea which in no way elevates him above the status of cesspool content. I must now apologize to cesspools.

In doing so, I thought I had found the perfect term with "el cerdo", however, it is unjust of me to sully the grand Spanish language by associating it to that putrid crap headed freak.

It is also not right to associate an animal as beloved as the pig 🐷 to such an abhorrent monstrosity.

I am shamed.

I may have found a partial solution to this issue by using only pig Latin in reference to ethay itshay eadhay in the future.

I understand I will burn in hell for sullying both Spanish and English to reference urdtay aceFay and I accept my punishment willingly as I consider myself a person of some, if not great, integrity.