Sunday Surprise
I turned on the TV
early one morning
A man came on
Moaning and groaning -
“I need your help
send me your money.
I want to build a world
made of milk and honey.”
How to tell if he
meant what he said?
I blinked my eyes
and shook my head.
Wouldn’t you know
he was on again
and before you could pray,
he’d taken me in.
He said, “Peace & love
are a rotten lie.
Follow me or else
your soul will die.
And anyway,
I need a new kitchen.
So send your money
my palms are itchin’.”
I was thinkin’ twice
about his line
then he said something
to change my mind.
He explained about art
‘cause it’s all evil
showed me what it’s done
to all the people.
He said, “look at the world.
It’s all wrong.
I’ve got a plan
to make it strong.”
He told me to avoid
Muslims, atheists, & Jews.
He said God don’t grant
the right to choose.
He wrote a book,
40 dollars a print,
it tells you what
the bible really meant.
It tells about earth
it tells about heaven
it tells you to vote for him
in the next election.
He told me to fear,
told me not to talk,
told me that God almighty
was watching my clock.
I put down my beer
I was getting scared
I just about jumped
right out of my chair.
Well, I went out
bought his book
showed him my soul
so that he could look.
He asked me to give
until I was broke
then he ran off to live
with the Holy Ghost
